10 Honest Thoughts on Being Loved by a Skinny Boy
By Rachel Wiley
I say, ‘I am fat.’
He says ‘No, you are beautiful.’
I wonder why I cannot be both.
He kisses me
My college theater professor once told me
that despite my talent,
I would never be cast as a romantic lead.
We do plays that involve singing animals
and children with the ability to fly,
but apparently no one
has enough willing suspension of disbelief
to go with anyone loving a fat girl.
I daydream regularly
about fucking my boyfriend vigorously on his front lawn.
On the mornings I do not feel pretty,
while he is still asleep,
I sit on the floor and check the pockets of his skinny jeans for motive,
for a punchline,
for other girls’ phone numbers.
When we hold hands in public,
I wonder if he notices the looks —
like he is handling a parade balloon on a crowded sidewalk;
if he notices that my hands are now made of rope.
Dear Cosmo: Fuck you.
I will not take sex tips from you
on how to please a man you think I do not deserve.
He tells me he loves me with the lights on.
I can cup his hip bone in my hand,
feel his ribs without pressing very hard at all.
He does not believe me when I tell him he is beautiful.
Sometimes I fear the day he does will be the day he leaves.
The cute hipster girl at the coffee shop
assumes we are just friends
and flirts over the counter.
I spend the next two weeks
mentally replacing myself with her
in all of our photographs.
When I admit this to him
we spend the evening taking new photos together.
He will not let me delete a single one of them.
The phrase “Big girls need love too” can die in a fire.
Fucking me does not require an asterisk.
Loving me is not a fetish.
Finding me beautiful is not a novelty.
I am not a fucking novelty.
I say, ‘I am fat.’
He says, ‘No. You are so much more’,
and kisses me
Love this piece! Reminds me of my own thoughts and fears about dating as a fat girl, and makes me want to say ‘fuck you’ to all those fears!
I love when that first kid in the class that screams “OH MY GOD ITS SNOWING” and the whole class turns and looks out the window and freaks out like they’ve never seen snow
Holy damn Allison’s strong. Seriously. Do you know how much power it takes to pull back a bowstring? Lemme give you an idea: my ex-boyfriend, who used to play football as a quarterback, had to get used to pulling back a 40 lbs weighted bowstring and can barely pull back a 70 lbs. 40 lbs is the minimum draw weight for a bow, so Allison’s had to be around there or even higher. And she pulled it back with ease.
Like, damn. That girl’s got some muscle.
"Say you don’t like it, say the music isn’t good, say whatever you think, but don’t try to tell me I don’t believe in this."
The Queen breaking into laughter as She passes Her husband, the Duke of Edinburgh, standing outside the Buckingham Palace, 2005
she’s so cute
anytime the queen goes past any of her family she just pisses herself laughing, i love it
HEHEHEHE PHILLIP I’M A STAMP AND YOU’RE NOT
people that are dorks but also sexually attractive need to either stay away from me or get very very close to me
This Anna Kendrick Little Mermaid SNL sketch is impossible to find (NBC ran into some legal issues with Disney)… watch while you can!
"Why would I need your hair? Mine is GORGEOUS! I mean it’s white, slicked straight up, & buzzed on the sides."
Dear NBC, it was worth every penny.
this is too fantastic for words.
why does my body keep producing acne why can’t you focus on more important things like growing wings or making me hot
My dad forced me to take this picture of him drinking Starbucks and giving me a peace sign because he wants to be tumblr famous please reblog this so he feels cool
congrats dad u did it